Seven Ivy Leagues in Search of a Sense of Humor

At the Harvard Coop
JL: "Excuse me, do you know if any of the houses sell their own Harvard t-shirts?"
Sales Representative #1: "No, no, all of the official Harvard merchandise comes through us. None of the houses have their own shirts unless it's a special discount from the COOP. It simplifies the process."
JL: ( in sotto voce )"Yeah, getting rid of imaginative houses does simplify things."

At the Harvard Shop
JL: "Do you have any Harvard shirts with the logo that are funny?"
(Blank expression from girl at counter. Looks to guy stocking hoodies)
Guy:"Sorry, I don't think so. We're very sober here."
JL: "Nothing? Nothing like 'If it were easy, it'd be Yale'?"
Girl: "That statement's true, how is it funny?"

At Hidden Sweets, also in Cambridge, MA
JL: "Are there any funny Harvard shirts here?" JML
Sales Representative #2: "Harvard? Nah? But we got alot of funny Boston shirts, like one that's says 'Wicked Pissah'"
JL: "But none from Harvard?"
Sales Representative #2: "Don't think so."
JL: "How about a Harvard shirt that's spelled Hahvahd?
Sales Representative #2: "How's that different from its regular spelling?
JL: "No, with like h's for the r's."
Sales Representative #2: "Oh yeah, we did have shirts like those, but we ran out of them."
JL: "Any time you might get them back in stock?"
Sales Representative #2: "Probably not. We got them that way cause the printer made a mistake."
JL: (Runs out and gives Harvard campus middle finger)

I think years of blue-blooded elitism and also blue-blooded inbreeding has rendered the parts of the neural limbic system associated with laughter obsolete with some of our Cambridge brothers. I miss UChicago's witty self-deprecation. With that, you knew you were nerdy, your school is soul-crushing, and you're damn proud of that.

*Am fully aware there are eight schools in the conference, but Yale seems fully equipped to make fun of its other Ivy League fellows.