I blame E! Stop the Histrionic Personalities.

1) Continuing secretarian violence and civil war in Iraq.
2) Democratic Congress challenging the Executive Branch on Constitutional war powers.
3) Palestinian coalition government still not officially recognizing Israel.
4) Escalation of offensive warfare from the Taleban in Afghanistan.
5) Nations meeting together to discuss how to stop global warming from worsening.
6) Iran being defiant on nuclear aims and its growing hegemony in the Persian Gulf.
7) Growing anti-immigrant sentiment in the United States.
8) Darfur peace talks stalled.
9) Aging baby boomers placing strain on the current health care system.
10) The 2008 Presidential primaries.

There. 10 relevant issues that deserve more press coverage than Anna Nicole Smith. The woman is dead, she didn't change America, and the course of this country will not divert knowing the father of her damn baby. GET OVER IT! I usually don't agree with Bill O'Reilly, but he's correct in pointing out the only value of her story is a warning about the irresponsibility of seeking attention. Don't start me on Britney Spears. Just go to obscurity in peace, woman.

Alexander Hamilton's Ghost is Shaking His Head at Me

Is there anyone out there, either of noble stock or born in the 18th Century, who wants to officiate a duel?

I forgot how this rake has impugned my dignity, but I know it shall not go unpunished.
His mistake that Boston Common is near the Charles shall also not go unpunished.

For anyone not interested in dueling, here's a comic strip demonstrating the cheap way of presenting in the science world.

Portrait of the Artist on Speed

riverrun. rivering run. river running running. trains running. rosebud was his sled. truck tires screech when stop. stop lights blinking. sirens wailing. must leave south boston. boston crazy. parents crazy. think i would randomly pick up lighted packages left on sidewalks. i know what aqua teen is. indonesian hobbits. p ≠ np? only the central time zone cares about this years super bowl. need whiskey - sour, mahattan, straight, neat, no rocks, no chaser. story of my life. boy meets girl. boy tutors girl. boy loses girl. cold. no snow. nhs4ever. minimum wage. bite and bark, but biting wrong people. caddy smells like trees. caddy's drawers are muddy. benjy i is gonna climb the fence. aughhhh! you see, william faulkner, its writing like that which is why youre burning in hell. like d lost generation books better. boats floating gatsby. running bulls in pamplona. chicago thinks i have money. alumni association hires friends from old house to track me down like a dog. cant even get own online account. weird. science. feel itchy - scratch-scratch-scratch - legs numb. nerst equation always there. med school cares about the nerst equation. got to her heart through the nerst equation. need sleep. badly. first sleep, then md diploma, then girlfriend, then kids, then revolution, then safecracking. explosions first sleep. wimper first, then bang. really wet and hot wimper.

Sign of the Apocalypse #3: Peyton Manning puts curse on Pats clutch, region of New England has winter of discontent

Why are my guy friends coming to me about their broken, dysfunctional relationship problems? I'm currently finding my love life is only existant when I'm in Chicago, and I can't afford flying back all the time, what with the Redline prices going up thanks to rising gas prices.


Point is I guess I'm just been more lucky with my personal life so far than some of my friends. All I can suggest to you all my buddies is to pray to St. All-the-people-I-know-as-single-and desperate-as-me-are -my-other-friends for intervention.

On a seperate note, congrats to Da Bears, and those 2 weeks between the NFC championship and the Super Bowl means Bears fans have a lot more time to do crazy, half-ass stuff, like giving birth.

Being Prepared

HERE LIES JOEL
LOVING SON, HUSBAND, FATHER

HE WAS JAKE BARNEY AND KEVIN TIRELLA'S
ONLY ROOMMATE TO BE FOUND
SLEEPING ON THE COUCH WEARING
BOXERS AND A FOOTBALL HELMET

This would be carved on my tombstone if my old roommates had their way. I suppose there are worse epitaphs, but sure as hell better ones.

Irony of Ironies

And now for something completely different from waxing about philosophies on a train ride.

The Augusta Chronicle and every other media source is discussing how James Brown's last testament and will was drawn up before his last marriage in 2001 and thus excludes his wife and 5-year son. Yeah, I'm concerned about the legacy and familial problems this will create... but get this - James Brown (Godfather of Soul, singer of "Say It Loud -- I'm Black and I'm Proud," had Al Sharpton as a tour manager) had Strom Thurmond Jr. as his probate lawyer. Yes, the son of that Strom Thurmond. The one NNDB officially lists as a "Racist senator/closet miscegenator." The one who ran for president in 1948 on a platform of segregation and in 1957 filibustered the Civil Rights Act. The one who Trent Lott lost his job to complimenting him.

The really creepy thing is that Jr. was about 30 years old - when his 100-year old father died.

As I see it, either jail time really mellowed out Soul Brother Number #1, or Strom Jr. is really good at probate law.

Musings on a transcontinental trip on an Amtrak train

I will never again take a transcontinental trip on an Amtrak train. Damn you Lake Shore Limited! Luxurious Viewliner accomodations my ass!!!
There is something eternal about traveling through the Midwest on a winter night. Yeah, the images of a Norman Rockwell painting appear hokey and charmingly ancient and the image of early 20th century small town America is a whitewashed ideal that no one alive remembers firsthand. But the rural midwest I saw from my frosty train window are aware and savvy of how urban America has changed, and yet they adapt slow enough to retain their immediate charm. The single iron lamppost lightling the show gently falling on the tracks at the edge of the station. The small town main streets, selling cell phones and soy-based products from new stores, but still retaining their Victorian-style buildings as they intersect with the tracks. The lone silos and decaying barns out in a icy, fallow field. The Georgian-style farmhouses perserving their families' character and independence. The orchard trees decorated with laces of ice, like a forest of glass trees. Out here, you lose a sense of urgency, and with it, disposability. These structures carry with the the tradition of both grandeur and purpose; they were meant to withstand time and fashion. And long after I passed these small towns and independent farms, I wished that they would continue to persevere long after a string of presidents, appliances, and non-essential celebrities. Although I don't agree with all the thoughts and actions of rural America, I find one of their virtues - endurance - something we are always in short supply.

Perhaps Indiana and Ohio are only meant to be seen in the dark.

After witnessing what northern upstate New York - i.e Buffalo - looks like - broken machinery, disrepaired and abandoned factories and mills, burning tires, polluted rivers, I now realize why two of my closest friends are obsessed with post-apocalyptic dystopian futures. Thunderdome anyone?

I had breakfast in the dining car sharing a table with an electromagnetic physicist from Syracuse and his precocious 5-year old daughter (is there any other?) He seemed interested in how my progression into med school was going, and as someone who was an outside observer, appeared extremely critical of the entire process. His experience was with former students at Syracuse University, including one girl who took the most advanced physics and chemistry classes, but was passed over last year. His conclusion was that medical schools were not looking for the most challenged or the most intelligent candidates, but the most accomplished and best work-ethic (the ones with the best GPAs). If not for the MCATs, I would totally have agreed with him, and even then he made some convincing arguments. I went back over a speech my adviser gave from the outgoing AAMC President in 2005 about how the sorry state of medical admissions treated its American candidates, and realized, I wish that physicist guy would be on my admission board... and maybe my friends.

That's my trip on Amtrak. Never listening to you on transportation advice again, Kevin!

Previously on Joel's blog...

Joel had just finished his finals at Boston University and was looking forward to a relaxing end to 2006, when...


the Amish ecoterrorists escape with the mutant virus on their helicopter, but an intrepid Asian jumps from the rooftop to make their getaway more complicated...



Andy and Kevin's car chase across San Francisco ends in a fiery blaze, not knowing who survived...


the Scav Hunt team finally reaches Mordor with their ring of duct tape, closely followed by an army of orcs



Joel races to stop the colorblind technician from making the fatal mistake with cutting the blue wire...while in his room, temptation awaits....


and in a final disaster waiting to happen, someone brings a bottle of Johnny Walker to Joel's family.

To be continued 2007

"what would you attempt to do
if you knew you could not fail?"

- written on a coffee mug sitting atop the towel dispenser in a men's bathroom at Boston Medical Center

Protein synthesis: an epic on the cellular level

Hippies meet Protein Synthesis

This was played in my Biochemistry class today as a surprise. I'm pretty sure my physics teacher from high school played the role of "the T-factor."

One thing you have to wonder - was the puff of smoke symbolic of any energy given off or ATP used, or was it just a byproduct of whatever they were on making the video?

Thanksgiving Tradition:














Yeah, I'll be participating in this one in the next 6 hours.
But while we gather round the table to celebrate the one time American settlers weren't decimating Native American populations with smallpox and guns, I think back... actually not to anything Thanksgiving related, but to this conversation I had with my friends (for anonymity's sake, named N and V in this post) a few weeks ago driving to Rhode Island. This was after N had "caught the flirtatious eye" of a waitress at Friendly's, and us carrying the joke to a whole new level.

V: We have to tell (N's significant other) that he's a hearthrob.
Me: Of course. Don't you remember that N was a teen hearthrob on that show on TV. What was it?
N: You know, that popular teen drama show.
V: Laguna Beach.
N: That's the one.
Me: And before that,you were on Beverley Hills: 90210 playing the cute kid brother.
N: Yeah, I was a child star too.
Me: What did you do with all the money you made as a child star?
N: Spent it on crack.
V: No hookers?
N: No, they just came to me.
Me: Yeah, why spend anything if you could get it for free?
N: Exactly.

And finally, they lied to you about those Pilgrims and their adventures. Stupid Hooflin-Mifflin history books.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Can you ever understand how it feels to live your life with no meaning or control, and with nowhere left to go, and then see people who have all those things in their lives? You're amazed that they exist and they burn so bright while you can only wonder, "why?" And then someone tells you you're one of them?

When the Hell did going to grad school become part of a "driven, organized life?"

Return to Form: aka more random thoughts.

A homeless/drunk/schizophrenic (pick one, I don't care) was sitting at the back of the bus during my morning commute saying a very loud, and very chauvinistic prayer. According to him, I'm a part of the "sodomites, nuclear terrorists, homosexuals, and pedophiles" ruining the country and driving it down to Satan because I'm an immigrant. Well, glad to know I'm a vessel of the devil.

My friend Robert does work with the Nonproliferation Policy Education Center, a think tank dedicated to combatting the spread of strategic weapons and limiting current stockpiles. That's the good news - such a group exists. The bad news: they're realizing the IAEA has a lack of candor about what their job is supposed to be. For more information on why the fallout shelter might go back in style, visit these critiques 1) and 2) at the Nonproliferation Policy Education Center.

My president is a Fish.

Also, I'm beginning to believe Deus ex Machinas fall from the sky for the angels' entertainment.

Haven't posted in a while.
a) I'm a bad blogger
b) I have a life outside of the Internet
c) I'm lazy
d) Two of these choices are correct
e) All of these choices are correct.

AP has just announced Americacoma. Tell me America, how do you feel?
"Groggy, and like my legs have atrophied. What's been going on since I lost consciousness?"
We've been in Iraq for 3 years, Iran and North Korea are emboldened to gain nuclear weapons, global warming's gonna kick our ass, and we pissed our surplus to give money back to the rich.
"Okay.... what else is new?"
The Red Sox and White Sox have won a pennant.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PUT ME BACK TO SLEEP!"























In the meantime, more self-professed evangelical Christian American voters voted for the Democratic Party in this election than ever before this decade. Which makes sense now realizing that Karl Rove probably could make Satan his bitch.

What does it say when the highlight of my day is riding on an illegally-overcrowded bus (Damn you MBTA! You win again T!) and falling off into a puddle, and the only reason why that was the highlight of my day was in attracted the sympathy of a cute girl in my lab? Yeah I thought so.

I'll write more later. Promise.
In the meantime just read an article I've written prior to the election and look at a picture of my friend dressed as Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment for Halloween. (Yes, he still is my friend.)

It's official. I categorized myself.

Pure Nerd 86 % Nerd, 34% Geek, 47% Dork

For The Record: A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia. A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one. A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions. You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd. The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful. Congratulations! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Professional Wrestling Love & Sexuality America/Politics Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on nerdiness You scored higher than 99% on geekosity You scored higher than 99% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

I try so hard for beaver too.

Reading Headlines as if I was guest-hosting the Daily Show.

Been a while since my last post. And thanks to Exam Week, will probably be another while.
Even though I feel like I'm in Hell and am just recovering from stress-induced frequent urination, I still like this better than midterms at the U of C.

So a runthrough of the headlines today.

1) It doesn't pay to be a Yankees fan this postseason. My condolences to Cory Liddle's family and friends, and to Larry David.

Why Larry David?
Let's take this quote from one of my favorite episodes of Seinfeld, and think of Larry David speaking George's lines:

Cushman: I gotta tell you, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we've seen. Mr. Steinbrenner, sir. There's someone here I'd like you to meet. This is Mr. Costanza. He is one of the applicants.
Steinbrenner: Nice to meet you.
George Costanza: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years, you have caused myself, and the city of New York, a good deal of distress as we have watched you take our beloved Yankees and reduced them to a laughing stock, all for the glorification of your massive ego.
Steinbrenner: Hire this man!

Unfortunately, I don't think this is how Torre got to keep his job.












2) First "South Park" was on the dot about Mel Gibson. Now it seems Team America: World Report was right about Kim Jong Il and the UN's call for swift action and its lack of impact on Pyongyang or it's march for nuclear status or call for unwanted attention (except the puppet thing, as far as I can tell). What's next, underpants gnomes are for real? Saddam has a gay thing for Satan...wait a minute....?


3) So there's a major Washington ethics scandal involving the influence peddling of former superlobbyist Jack Abramoff, 650.000 Iraqis have died since 2003, the National Intelligence Estimate concluded the Iraq war was exacerbating the Islamic terrorist threat by fueling resentment toward the United States and providing a training ground for terrorist recruits, the large deficits thanks to the Iraq War and the tax cuts, Katrina, and the basic lack of environmental or ethical oversight. And the only reason why there is a chance of upseating one of the most uncontrolled, fundamentalist group of politicians ever to have the majority in Congress is because of one horny Republican closeted gay congressman who didn't realize emails can still be hard evidence in Ethics Committee hearings.

Not to belittle Democrats, because I align most of time with them when the choices are weak-willed intellectuals or madmen, but if and when the Democrats have a majority in a house of Congress, they're going to have to address the important issues which weren't fully annunciated in this midterm election, because the media cares about this damn pointless sex scandal. I know a win is a win and Democrats should take what they can get, but this is ridiculous.

Should I be happy that this is how Republicans fall from grace? Not really. Especially because this just confirms the whole "family values is the only issue" theory.

That Hobbesian state is looking better all the time.

4) Well, at least Fox News is doing they're best to belittle the Foley scandal for what it is.

5) And finally, if you feel the Earth wobble, that means we're all doomed. If you're a mammal.
But you knew that anyway.

Alright back to the books. See you when I feel like procrastinating again.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Note to Reader: The author's brain is mush from rote memorization before a Biochemistry exam. His Humbuckers are offline.

Ever have one of those days where you're sitting in a room reading a passage on hemoglobin, or just walking down the street on a rainy day, and you stop... and start to wonder -
"How did I get down to this street? How did I get to this chapter in the textbook? Basically, you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?"

And you cue the 80s music. And you remember the phrase Talking Heads is more than Chris Matthews and Bill O'Reilly using their massive foreheads to intimidate guests.

So you have to remind myself:

I was born on October 21, 1983, at least that's what my parents tell me.

I would have been happy to go to an ordinary school, receive an ordinary education, make ordinary friends, and live an ordinary life...

But my parents had me take an advanced placement test in kindergarten, and not knowing the trouble it would cause, I naturally tried my very best, was labelled ADVANCED for the next years of my life in the primary school system, and was immediately shipped to the best schools in Kentucky...

Then when that got expensive, my parents transferred me to the best magnet school in the state, which furthered my resume-padding that America now applauds...

And sent me to one of the best academic institutions, where I realized that being blindfolded and in a dark cave wouldn't have been so bad if Socrates wasn't a little pederastic whiny bitch...

I would've been happy with an ordinary girlfriend, having an ordinary job, living an ordinary life. Teenage romance is the same thing. But somehow I always want the girls out of my reach - too pretty, too sexy, too psychotic, too much of an econ major...

Somehow I want the jobs and accomplishments that aren't befitting ordinary people, but an ordinary life looks so peaceful from up here in the tower...

Which leads you here, walking down the street, reading about the Bohr effect and which histidine residues are the main effectors on hemoglobin, on a rainy day, letting the days go by, and the water flowing underground.

And you cue the 80s music. And you remember the phrase Talking Heads is more than Chris Matthews and Bill O'Reilly using their massive foreheads to intimidate guests.

Seems like a logical day, right?

On a lighter note, we're closer to achieving a Leviathan state, one basically where we've just sold out our ideals for freedom and equality to all men for "security" of just "American citizens". Hobbes bless us, everyone.